Friday, October 3, 2014

Seen somewhere above the roof of a car between two farmers fields on a cement road going to a place where neither the protagonists know is a highway with no trucks passing by, an unusual site at this late past mid night hour, with a developing village with new architectural tricks we see the dark night illuminated by the glow of the full moon, the mountains that hold and the fields that stretch, the lights along the road going back to a town he wont call home. Parked out of the way  to avoid the prying eyes of unwanted people, Like cops and people who know the car and owner by eye but not by words. Inside the 2 are doing what they are doing to pass the time and to fall asleep in a town that can't grant them that for there is nothing that will make them seek the bed or floor to pass out on. Smoking up to the sounds of The Wonder Years, A asks B makes small talk in between puffs or todays trendiest. Not a smile is seen between the 2 as the cloud forms inside. What are your plans for this rest of the year B asks, to which A says He doesn't know. He never knew what was the plan for him for the past few years. Seeing as circumstance and failed jobs took that away. He submits to the fermented grain and the sticky grass. As he has been since he walked out of a failed office, due to his friends memories still fresh. Lost for a long time. Let's open the bottles now and hang out the back says A, releasing the smoke to the empty night sky. Unafraid of the scent that drifts, for no one travels these roads past midnight. B's music plays, The latest from Deftones and the 2 nod along to the beat, silent and enjoying the scene that they have. 2 good friends just passing the time at a place where no one would want to go to, knowing that what they enjoy is something that only they can understand. They tried to bring others so it wouldn't get so lonely, but for those so used to being brightly lit in the spotlight and having their conversations drowned out in the sound of broken speakers, this is not a place to look fashionable. What are your plans B asks A, To which A tells him not of plans but dreams and wishes and hopes of where he'll be and what he'll do. A faint smile is seen on B as he takes it all in, doubt and hope fall in the same bottle and in the same breath. Because A is unproven, He has been way too shy. It's almost the end of the year before he'll be put into a place where he thinks he belongs, in front of the screen and inside his room, scared to leave for accidents do happen to everyone who has to learn how to crawl out of the hole that he's been thrown in. So this story will be about A, His maybe victory and his written past, glimpses of that to make sure we have a clue to understand why he is built this way, why he is built to spill. Why he chose the path of the artist martyr but can't be called art yet. Maybe we'll cheer him on as he goes on his first date after years of not taking any, for him hates himself enough to not even try to improve. Or maybe we'll just be happy for him that he is finally seeing the world as not the enemy to rule, but as a zone to live in. The understanding of oneself, though not necessary, is something he needs now more than ever. So hopefully, He sees it and takes it and tries to make a better mark for himself. Because it's been years since he thought of himself instead of others and in the end, he is left alone to fight this war, alone but not alone, hand in hand like a relay race to the end but the only one at the finish line will be himself, First or last or second. The position doesn't matter, It's that he tried to make himself a better  person. Not for anyone else, But for him. And reality hits. Time is over. And he drives B back to his home, an early wife and child. Then A drives back alone to his, An empty place with bitter and resentment everywhere for who he is.

No comments: