Thursday, July 18, 2013

My favorite thing to say these past few weeks goes like "I am not as dumb as they would have you believe. Though I am dumb in some ways, That doesn't mean I am flat out retarded like they tell you (shit goes my way) See??? I wear glasses so I must be at least a little bit smart!"

I was molested by my older sister, Cheryl Abrigo, When I was in the first grade. or was that second. SEE? This is why I cant tell the world about what happened, mainly because it's morally wrong but because anything I say that ends with "I think" or starts with "if I remember correctly" gets thrown back at me as untrue and a delusion. So yeah, get that last part and repeat it, they also call me "retarded".


Morally wrong. How is it morally wrong to speak out against it. According to them it is wrong when I hurt someone who is in a higher position than me. So I really can't tell the world that I've been a victim of unwanted sexual activities for a whole innocent summer because my older sister is the one who did it. Older Sibling. Big sister. Can't do shit about it since you know haha she graduated college with a baby and shit and she has to protect herself and her kid by not letting the world what shit she has done/still does to me.

Does Rihanna Angel get protected from my supposed wrath if I sit by idly and continue to be molested in non sexual ways? Lets talk about my wrath first.

1st time you were in a fight?
I've been punched twice my whole life, haven't thrown a punch at a fully conscience human being though I accidentally punched a duck

Last time you hit something?
hehehhe

Last time you punched or kicked something?
Months ago in a silent one punch way to a concrete wall. So that no one hears and only I am hurt and aware of how I feel.

What about your highschool anger issues....
That was highschool. 10 years ago.

Do you play.... Grand Theft Auto?
Occasionally

JARRELL IS A VIOLENT GOD HATER

ok.

I just feel helpless, like no one can help me. Like the time she would push our beds together so that she could touch me under my clothes at night and sometimes day kind of helpless.

So yeah, thats whats up lately. Getting raped up till now by my older sister. Because according to father dear, It is wrong to hurt someone who is in a higher position than me.

Oh wait I could maybe have hurt her a bit when I raised my voice to be heard over her screaming at me when I asked her what time she sleeps so that (I can join her in her room to be raped all over again like what happened 10+years ago) I can use the net and not lag her game, while she gets her beauty sleep. All win right?

Wrong if you are THE ONE WHO IS IN A HIGHER POSITION.

So goes the law in this household. Laid out by my father who was never there, Carried on by my mother who I guess was just being a good mother. Driving out the liabilities of the house out. She did that to dad before. Even told us that he's mentally crazy and we should not see him.

I'm supposed to talk to Wilfredo sometime. Last time we talked, He just compared what ate told him to what I told him. Meaning I automatically lose. 

I'm 25 now. I get to choose who is in my life and who is my family. 

They are not my family. At least according to the family stories I've seen and heard. I mean, Who does that shit anyway? People who don't want you in the family. That I can live. It's like I've been living it for a years. Family isn't a once a month dine out event at a restaurant. Is it? If it is just that then leave me out of it. I'll go instead for the time when me and my friends kind of got into a fight and they saw to me first and I tried to help them. For the time spent at an empty beach with just an acoustic guitar and each other in a totala straight way over Zakuras once every few months. Y'know how awkward I am at family dinners with friends' families? VOVALLY. I need to practice not being awkward at those times. I need to practice not being awkward at family dinners. Read it again. Who the hell does that shit? Who the hell leaves their dad to go on a gambling binge when they had the chance and lines of communication to prevent that shit though yeah he shouldve just not gambled in the first place casino casino. I like them more than I like you guys, Simply because I feel that thing that you don't get when youre in the company of strangers. I think. 




Of course this coming from a child raped diagnosed-by-blood-family(?) retard, this whole post is bullshit. 

Oh and my older sister is getting married shes got the ring and all yet she constantly flirts and bees flirted by (Proving I r retard) some dude who she plays with online boing by the name of Buracho who I guess has been online gaming with Orion people for awhile now. 'Course, along with my claims of being raped and harassed, I cannot back this up. Simply because I have no proof. Well, if I take a pic "nye its photoshopped", If i record a voice file "nye its editted using fruity loops" If I show them "nye hes just a friend" so yeah. I think I can say anything that I know is true since she'll just deny it anyway. Btw, not the first, only and last guy shell be having a fling with I mean cmon when you're email address used to be (maybe still) Bitchtorious69@yahoo.com or something like that, well, you can see whats coming for them. 

Why am I living this life. why? Well, Can't get out of it since the parents have been brainwashed into thinking I'm lucifers other spawn. 

I am 25 and I got no one preggers huzzzah yet I eat the shit while a crack whore (metaphor, crack being her videogames.) ((Still a whore)) gets to run the house, runs off with a fake college fund that she should be earning and lets people eat shit. 

Sure she doesn't have to like me, but why is it that I HAVE TO LIKE HER. That I have to Obeeeeeeeey her. with fervor and speed too. Worse that Carlo is turning into the bitch that Cheryl is. I would and always have will go out of my way to ensure the protection and enjoyment of the little brother. Picking him up while my hangout with my friends gets interupted, Shielding him from his mistakes and taking it as my own, Staying out of the way. If he was the one without a line, I would gladly send him load on a weekly basis, like 150 or whatever. He can't deal with sending me 30. I don't know man, but thats a little harsh. 

I am 25 and I do not enjoy the clubs and disco because I see it as just plain gross. Maybe because I saw my older sister Cheryl uhh, Freakdancing? youknow, that kind of horny dance of crotch rubbing with a stranger on a dance floor? yeah. I was 15 at the time? Well I guess she was barely legal at the time. Oh how she wore a skirt and touched the floor with her booootay with a person we all knew, she did not know. 

Morals. Its like, How come she gets to go to heaven? Oh yeah, corporate espionage tactics or whatever. Strange how she learned that since she never worked a day in her life. I mean a real 9-5 not baking clay for 2 hours a month and shilling them at anime conventions. Like a real labor intensive "I dont want this shit" kind of job. Maybe her job is dealing with the lil brother who she raped back in japan, in that room at okinawa next to Ojisans store and when we had misty as our pet dog. Okay not mine, Youre pet dog. coz yeah, I'm too retarded to feed a dog. and to understand what lag is. 

Only time she was nice was when I bought the lunch bill. Soooo that logic working = Happy when you buy us food at a restu. Nah I dont understand that logic. 

GTG, I'm lagging the whole god damn internet by typing this blog post. 

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